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Thought for the day ...
"Be
who you are
And say what you feel...
Because those that matter...Don't mind...
And those that mind...Don't matter."
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Marriage changes
passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
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I saw a woman wearing
a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants ?'
She
hit me.
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How
come
we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for
Miss America ??
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Now
that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
pants.
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I signed up for an
exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I
HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in
the first place!
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When I was young we
used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just
'chunky dunk.'
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Don't
argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
difference.
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Wouldn't it be nice
if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt
Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
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Why is
it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?
Prison may just be a
little too late!!!
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Wouldn't you know
it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but
FAT cells live forever.
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Why
do I have to swear on the Bible in court
when
the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
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Bumper
sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English,
thank a soldier'
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